You ever watch a game and think, “Oh no… someone needs to call the cops, this is a crime scene”? That was me on Sunday watching the Detroit Lions absolutely terrorize Lamar Jackson and the Ravens.
Seven sacks. Seven. By the end, Lamar looked like he had signed up for a haunted house tour and accidentally wandered into an industrial demolition site.
Detroit’s Defensive Line = A Group Project Where Everyone Actually Did Their Part
Normally in a group project, one guy does all the work while everyone else coasts. Not Detroit’s pass rush. Nope. They were like that one overachieving college group that shows up with a PowerPoint, charts, and matching outfits.
Every snap felt like the Ravens’ offensive line was auditioning for “Dancing With the Stars.” Spin, stumble, collapse — and then Lamar was on the ground again.
Lamar’s Perspective (Probably)
I imagine Lamar’s thought process went something like this:
- Sack #1: “Okay, it happens. Let’s regroup.”
- Sack #3: “Guys… can someone please block… anyone?”
- Sack #5: “Alright, I’m just gonna start throwing screen passes to myself.”
- Sack #7: “Is Uber still running in Baltimore right now?”
At one point, I swear Lamar stood up after a sack and looked at his linemen like a dad who just found out the kids dented the car. Disappointment mixed with “Why do I even bother?”
The Lions’ Glow-Up
This is the Detroit Lions we’re talking about — the franchise that used to be the NFL’s equivalent of the “before” picture in an infomercial. And now? They walked into Baltimore, manhandled the Ravens, and walked out like they’d just claimed squatters’ rights at M&T Bank Stadium.
If this keeps up, Detroit fans might actually need to buy playoff tickets. Imagine telling someone from 2015 that sentence. They’d laugh, then cry, then laugh again.
Final Thought
The Lions didn’t just beat the Ravens — they made a statement. And that statement was: “We’re tired of being the punchline. Now we’re the ones handing out concussions and career flashbacks.”
And honestly? I loved every second of it. Not because I hate Lamar (he’s great), but because watching Detroit turn into the NFL’s bully is like watching the nerdy kid from high school come back from summer break jacked and dating the prom queen.
So, congrats, Lions. You didn’t just sack Lamar seven times — you sacked my perception of who you are as a franchise.